What a Time I’ve Had

All the world’s a stage...

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 12:05:25 -0800

Jake is finishing his senior year at UPS, with a major in theater, with an emphasis on playwriting. He writes, the school produces his play, he writes more, the school produces more of his plays... and he likes it.

My dad’s roommate from UCLA is a noted playwright, and Jake sent some of his work to my dad’s friend. The verdict: talent worthy of development. The recommendation: apply to the big schools for an MFA program, like Yale, Columbia, Julliard and NYU.

Cool.

Ok... maybe this will work.

Sat, 25 Oct 2008 10:19:29 -0700

Whew. That was interesting.

Divorce final at the end of July. Dad needs more than country living, so find him an apartment in Portland in August. Kim, Sara and Dad move out in September. Oh... and I no longer work with the attorneys at Crowell Ing. And the world economy collapsed. Arg.

The Portland Experiment for Dad was worth trying, but it doesn’t work well enough to continue for much longer. Dad is back on Cooper Hollow, after an unfortunate episode this week. (They’ll get a replacement door in a couple weeks.) We’re now looking at a more traditional senior living situation, and he’s on the waiting list for Dallas Retirement Village, about five miles away. Given that I’m his primary support (everyone else is far away, deeply involved in other pursuits), we figured a spot close to Cooper Hollow (not a good time to put property on the market). I’ll rent his house to a worthy person, then hunker down for (1) recovery of the financial markets or (2) complete collapse of Western Civilization. I have a 55 gallon drum of old Top Ramen (acquired from a Y2K survivor) and plenty of firewood, so I should be able to hang on awhile longer.

Steady work has taken a backseat to getting Dad in the right place. He leaves for a cruise with my sister in mid-November, so I’ll take the opportunity to cash in some flyer-miles and stay at the family condo in Waikiki with a friend. Working on a big professional development push before I leave, and probably won’t hit full stride ‘til January. If I can just tread water for a bit longer....

Maybe, maybe not.

Sun, 7 Sep 2008 09:15:38 -0700

Once upon a time, Kim and I moved a house onto my parents’ property in San Marcos, CA. I worked on the project as I was working my way through law school. Just about finished the house, then I took a job in Hawaii, stayed there for ten years before coming to Oregon.

I’ve been in Oregon since 1997. Came with a wife, two children, and arrived to my mom and dad. Now my mom is gone, my wife is gone, the kids are off to college. Dad is in transitition - living here part time, trying urban living in small doses. A lot of change, all at once.

And last week I added another piece of the puzzle. I left the law firm that I had worked with for a couple years. An unfortunate series of events that led to the break-up, but undoubtably for the best. After years of working with bushels of attorneys, I can sense when working relationships are irretrievable. When the going gets tough, the weird turn pro.

For the short-term, I need to make a living, so professional development is my focus for September. Still, dealing with everything once is a handful. Many cards on the table, hard to decide which to play.

The Path Ahead

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 08:22:43 -0700

Life has its turmoil, but the puzzle pieces are finding their place.

Kim is painting rooms at her new house with Sara, and Sara is moving in with Kim. Probably finished with the move by the end of the week. Then Sara heads to Portland State at the end of September. Most of the dogs have already moved. Quieter around here.

My dad is getting ready to move into a studio apartment in the Pearl District. He’ll still live on Cooper Hollow, too, but he’ll be able to split his time between urban and rural. Interesting to see how it suits him. The apartment is ready next week.

As for work... a bit of transition. I have a sense of how things will be, but too soon to report. End of this week, I should have a clearer clue of the possibilities.

My goal is to simplify, but I’ll need to make some life-changing decisions. I’ll pick an arbitrary date of October 1 to make those decisions. ‘Til then, I’ll just enjoy the ride.

Day of Wine and Roads

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 21:53:44 -0700

Yesterday I stopped at Eola Hills Winery, on the way back from Ag West with my rebuilt tractor starter. For ten years, Eola Hills has run August bike tours. I thought I should go someday, but like so many things, someday never came. Until I made a rash decision to sign up for the ride yesterday, five minutes before the cut-off.

Got to the start, had a muffin and coffee, then began the trudge up 99W. Fifty miles later, I returned for the BBQ at Eola Hills. Between start and finish, I bought six bottles of wine from Mia Sonatina (2005 Crescendo, a Bordeaux style red), Hauer of the Daune (2001 Pinot Noir), Stangeland (2003 Pinot Noir), Witness Tree (2006 Pinot Noir), Cristom (2005 Syrah) and Bethel Heights (2006 Gewurztraminer). I tasted many more. The best was a Pinot Noir (2006 Casteel Reserve) at Bethel Heights, but at $60/bottle, too rich for my blood. But tasty on the palette.

I met some great folks, including Chris, Nancy, Colby, Sarah, Sharon and John, here at Bethel Heights. Chris and Nancy, on the left, are fellow travelers in the ways of Bike Friday.

IT for PA

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 10:44:03 -0700

Every now and again, I provided tech support to my dad over the phone. Perhaps you do that for your folks, too. I know that John Mayer tries to do that for his dad. Watch:

PDX for PA

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 09:18:54 -0700

My mom died last November, after a long illness that left her bed-bound from March 2007. She spent her days at home, with my dad and family alongside.

After she left us, I thought my dad would need some time to adjust, and staying in the familiar surroundings that he shared with my mom seemed the right decision. He still feels her presence, still turns down the TV so as not to disturb her, still turns past TV shows he knows she hates. She seems like she’s in the next room, he says.

Amid this adjustment, Kim and I added a marital dissolution. Since March, Kim has lived in the guest room at my dad’s house -- helpful is some ways, tremendously awkward in others. Again, I thought big changes should wait.

But now is the time for big changes. The divorce was final at the end of July, Kim moves next week, and Sara goes to college in September. Living on Cooper Hollow is charming and bucolic, but my dad is six miles from anything that could be called a town. Gregarious and charming, my dad needs less solitude and more people.

I spent some of this month looking at Portland neighborhoods, looking for something that might work better. I settled on the Pearl District as the best mix. Last week I took my dad, my sister, my niece, and my daughter for a look-see. My dad liked the neighborhood. We looked at a studio apartment for rent. He liked the apartment. So he signed the lease, and he moves in September. We’ll keep Cooper Hollow in the mix, so he can go back and forth, staying wherever he likes. At some point, he may need or want a dedicated assisted living place, but the longer we can keep him independent, the better. (We tried an assisted living facility a few years ago. He hated it.)

His apartment is at the Streetcar Lofts. Good access to public transportation, a new Safeway opening a couple blocks away, a few more blocks from Union Station. He seemed pleased that I found a conveyor-track sushi place a few blocks away.

I think it will work well. If not, we’ll try something else.

The End

Fri, 8 Aug 2008 07:48:42 -0700

July 31, officially divorced. Kim moves to her new home in Eugene on August 18. My daughter leaves for Portland State in late September. Dad is going to try city living in early September.  Just me, sixty acres, and a couple dogs by the end of September.  Whew.

Advice for Dave

Sat, 2 Aug 2008 22:34:11 -0700

One of the charms of working through a divorce -- many people suggest what I should do. I listen to it all, though I try to chart my own course. Sometimes the advice manifests in unilateral actions, which are ostensibly designed to help. Many times, it doesn’t.

All of the advice is well-intended, but much is colored by the personal tribulations of the dispenser. A few shrug and offer no more than, “I dunno. Just glad it’s not me.” Reminds me of the advice I received when I got married. ‘Round ‘n’ ‘round we go.

As for the parting, should be happening soon. I think. All told, a very complicated, delicate, and unpleasant undertaking. A common bit of advice: it will get better someday. I hope so, but not likely this week.

A day in Portland

Fri, 1 Aug 2008 07:17:40 -0700

I took a day to explore Portland yesterday. Among the tasks, determining whether my dad might relocate to Portland, maybe the Pearl District. I dragged a friend along, and our first stop with Henry’s 12th Street Tavern, in the belly of the old Henry Weinhard Brewery. Seemed like more than a hundred beers on tap. The bartender let us go on a sampling run and only charged us for a pint.

Next we wandered to the Alphabet District to Ken’s Artisan Bakery. We drove past Kornblatt’s (the only decent NY-style deli in Portland, I’m told), but couldn’t find parking.

My friend makes artisan tools, so we traveled to Gilmer Wood Co., where he spend an hour looking at remarkably expense sticks. A handful of unfinished wood for $300.

Then we went to Cacao, a chocolate shop on the southside of Burnside. We had a hot spicy chocolate, and my friend bought about $70 of chocolate.

Then the Tao of Tea on Belmont. I’m not a tea fanatic, but a remarkable collection.

Then to Sapphire Hotel for a gin and tonic and a hummus plate. My friend couldn’t get past the chocolate, and thinking about the wood in the car, couldn’t get past the desire to go home and turn wood. Some folks can’t chill on demand.

Then to Pambiché, a Cuban restaurant, for a sangria and empanadas. Full.

Then to Peet’s for coffee, Powell’s for a look through the stacks, then back to Monmounth.

In the middle of this romp, we stopped at a real estate office to check the Pearl District. My dad might be happy there. I might be happy there. Unfortunately, my daughter is very opposed to my moving to Portland. I’ll have to decide whether that stops me.